Recipe for Disaster
by Sunneshine123
Summary: Hermione plus Draco, trapped in a broom cupboard equals a Recipe for Disaster!


_I found the transcript for this in an old notebook. Once I reread it, I thought that I might as well share it with you guys! I hope you like it :)_

**Recipe for Disaster-**

"Hello?"

"…."

"Ooof! For goodness sake Granger your co-ordination could do with some work!"

"Excuse me Malfoy, but your body was in the way! And you didn't say hello back, so how was I supposed to know you were there?"

"Not saying hello is no excuse for me to have been mauled by what seemed to be a heavy elephant."

"I am not a heavy elephant Malfoy! Like I said before, _your _body was in the way."

"My body was in the way! You tripped over a broom while turning the light on, managed to slap me in the face, elbow me in the stomach and hit me where the sun don't shine! I'm pretty sure _you're _the one who's at fault here."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Not saying anything because you know I'm right?"

"No! I'm just… Uhh… Not saying anything because I don't want to talk to you!"

"What? You just said something!"

"…."

"…."

"Jeez, women these days-"

"Did you just snort? At me?"

"Maybe."

"Ha! Got you to talk. My plan succeeded"

"Riiiggght. That was _obviously _your plan."

"Did you just use sarcasm on me? Draco Malfoy, Snarker Extraordinaire, winner of Slytherin's Most Sarcastic Prize _8 _times, Sarcasm King and most recently God of Sarcasm?"

"Of _course _Slytherin has a prize for sarcasm. Just as likely as your plan to get me to talk."

"Well, for your information, Slytherin _does _have a prize for sarcasm. Just ask Blaise. Or Daphne. Or Pansy. Or Astoria. Or Slughorn. Or Goyle… On second thought maybe not Goyle, but you could ask Crabbe? Or Flint. Or-"

"OK I GET IT! Ask someone in Slytherin!"

"Or Snape. Or Dumbledore. Heck you could even ask Potter or the Weasel!"

"Harry and Ron know about it?"

"So you accept that the Slytherin prize for sarcasm exists! And yes the Wonderboys do know about it seeing as they attempt to win the prize _every single freaking year."_

"…."

"…."

"…."

"I was just about to accept this, but then my BS radar went off."

"Oooh Hermione swore! And all that I said was completely true!"

"The problem with that is? I think swearing is excusable when you're stuck in a broom cupboard with a stupid, stuck up, arrogant prick."

"Where?"

"I see… I think you'll find that there's no one else in here apart from us Hermione. I know that you want to get my attention, but this really isn't the way to go. Acting delusional doesn't get me interested. Why don't you try that with the Weasel when we eventually get out of here? *Sigh* My superhuman good looks can really be a curse sometimes…"

"Don't you dare take that patronising tone with me Malfoy! I am NOT in love with you! I hit you once and I won't hesitate to do it again!"

"Denial is not the answer-"

"Merlin! Violence is not the answer either!"

"Shut up."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"You know before you said '_I am NOT in love with you!'_?"

"My voice is not that high pitched, but yes go on."

"Who said anything about love?"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"MERLIN!"

"What? Have you finally realized that you think I'm hot?"

"Yes! Uh… I mean NO! I don't think you're hot OK! Your eyes may be gorgeous, but THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU! Why do I have to justify myself anyway?"

"_Denial…"_

"_Denial…_Denial… Denial. Denial! DENIAL! Deeeeeniiiaal… Deeeniiaaaal… Deeenniiaa-"

"SHUT UP!"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"What? No annoying comments?"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you're upset! Say something already!"

"…."

"…."

"I'm sorry alright! Now why aren't you talking?

"Well you did tell me to shut up…"

"But you didn't listen before!"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Alright how about we play 20 Questions? You ask me a question, then I'll ask you a question, and we'll go on until we get to twenty."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Alright. What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue."

"Not red?"

"Just because I'm a Gryffindor, it doesn't mean that my favourite colour is red or gold! I mean just because you're in Slytherin … Uh. Bad example."

"No you're right. My favourite colour isn't green, it's, uh, yellow."

"What was that?"

"It's yellow."

"Huh?"

"Alright it's yellow!"

"Your favourite colour is yellow! PAHAHAHA!"

"It's not funny! Don't be biased against colours you-you- COLOURIST! That's right, I said it! You're a colourist!"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"Granger?"

"…."

"…."

"Hermione?"

"…."

"…."

"…."

"PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I'm glad my favourite colour is a source of amusement to you."

_And there we have it! The end of my notes :) If you liked this style of story check out Trick Stair (and the sequel), which is where I think I got my inspiration from. I may continue this into a multi-chaptered fic, or just a two shot, but it depends on whether you guys liked this! Hope you enjoyed Recipe for Disaster, _

_Sunneshine :)_


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